it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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