any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
