wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
