you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
