I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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