Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
