I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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