you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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