Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
