Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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