I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Pappa wants mamma naked
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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