Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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