I'm lost and stupid without you.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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