I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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