I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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