I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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