first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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