we have officially lost it.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
