You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
