I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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