Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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