Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
