the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
