we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
