Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
