Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You smell like stripper and shame
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
