I wish I could teleport
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
