do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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