yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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