I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
