everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
