PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
