I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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