You work out of a Hotel?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
