i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
