so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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