Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
