your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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