I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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