this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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