just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
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