This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize