I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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