just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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