I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
