My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
After last night, I could never be a politician.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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