"it" just moved
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
