she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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