I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
