"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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