i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
