Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
