Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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