if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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