there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Please don't give away my fajitas
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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