i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
is that a dick in a sweater?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
