I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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