I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
