I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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