Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
