I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
