Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This house was built for laser tag.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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