Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
