a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
