I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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